Breathe
by Kurai-Hisaki
Summary: They haven't spoken for a year now. Like light and darkness, they were opposites. Due to unforeseen events and a little bad luck, Sakura has to live at Kakashi's apartment for a while. What could possibly happen during this time of chaos? Kakashi x Sakura
1. Prologue

**Breathe – Prologue**

_Kurai-Hisaki_

Summary: They haven't spoken for a year now. Like light and darkness, they were opposites. Due to unforeseen events and a little bad luck, Sakura has to live at Kakashi's apartment for a while. What could possibly happen during this time of chaos? Kakashi x Sakura

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

She kept her head down and her eyes glued to her feet as she heard that ever-familiar, baritone voice. His voice had always sounded slow and lazy, but patient – or maybe he just didn't care. She didn't know. She remained silent as her short pink hair started to stick to her face and hid her face from him. She felt drops of water hitting her feet. She was tired, angry and wet. Yes, what _was_ she doing, standing in front of Kakashi's door dripping wet, at 6am in the morning. Oh wait; it went a little something like this…

* * *

It was late at night when Sakura had just finished her shift at the hospital. It had been a busy day as several ANBU squads had returned from their missions and over a dozen of them had injuries. Some had been minor injuries while others had gaping wounds and holes through their arms and stomach. She had to admit, a lot of them were big babies when it came to getting treatment. Needless to say, Sakura had drained a lot of her chakra healing these injured ANBU members and had spent a lot of her energy calming the ones around them. The night before, she had stayed up to write a report about her recent mission. Her hospital shift was supposed to be at night, so she figured that she could sleep after finishing her report at 5am in the morning. She had gone straight to bed, and at 8am, someone had woken her up to tell her that she was needed at the hospital for an emergency. By the time her shift was over, she was completely spent. It was just one of those nights where she had wanted to go home, soak in a nice warm bath, lie in her comfy bed with a book or magazine then sleep for hours. But fate didn't like her, it never did.

Once she left the hospital, the late autumn winds had picked up and while it was warmer in the afternoon, it was now freezing. The sun was bright and the rays were warm this morning, whereas now it was cloudy. The moon can't even been seen tonight and the only lights lighting her path were the few streetlights that just happened to be scattered around the long road that she walked on. She had left this morning without a jacket, thinking that it would be warm enough to go without one. Of course, she had never anticipated that she would be at the hospital till 3:45am in the morning, and she had never expected that the temperature would drop past 5 degrees Celsius. Or perhaps, she was just too tired to think about anything at all when she woke up this morning.

Upon walking home on her tired and slightly throbbing feet, it had started drizzling. She didn't think much of it as rain never bothered her. If anything, she would say that it normally comforted her, but tonight with the combination of the strong wind and rain, it was beyond cold and it had started to hurt as the rain hit her face. She swore that it was mildly hailing when her face started to sting. Running the rest of the way home, she was grateful when she finally reached the main gates to her apartment.

She made her way up to her unit and saw this big, fat red notice stuck to the front of her door.

**This apartment is going to be torn down in less than a week as a new building is going to be built in a couple of months. Please evacuate your unit as soon as possible.  
****We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.  
****-Apartment Management**

Her inner voice screamed at her. If looks could kill, her eyes would have burnt the front door of her apartment down.

_Inconvenient, my ASS! This downright just ruined my life! What do I do now?!_

Sakura should have known that this was coming though. The apartment was old, but it wasn't completely falling apart. She had lived here for quite a while now, maybe a couple of years. It wasn't in the safest neighbourhood, but hey, what did she have to worry about. Common thugs and thieves didn't concern her, and Konoha was quite protected against most ninja's attacks from other villages. Besides, she didn't have anything of value in here anyways. She didn't have much besides basic daily needs, furniture and clothes. She spent most of her time in the hospital anyways; she never felt the need to buy so much for her home. The rent was cheap and therefore, when she first moved out of her parents' house, she moved here. It had been enough for her to stay here and even though she had the money to move somewhere else, she had never bothered to look for a better place. At least moving wouldn't be hard… she should have guessed that the landlord would sell the land for money and a new building would be built.

_The problem was… where am I going to go now? It's such a short time._

Deciding to think about it after a hot shower, she entered her apartment without turning on the lights and began to strip off her wet clothes as she made her way to the bathroom. Turning on the facet, no water came out. This had just made her night, the worse night possible.

Wait, she took that back. Her night just got worse as she remembered that she left the window opened in her bedroom and living room to air out the apartment this morning. Her palm met with her face. Why did the autumn weather have to be _so_ unpredictable in Konoha? It was _great_ this morning! Growling, she wrapped a towel around herself and made her way to the windows. Everything was drenched as the rain had been blown in. The carpet was soaked and it puddled and squished as she walked through it to shut the windows. She had never felt so stupid in her life. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

She wanted to scream.

Keeping her chakra laden fists at her side, the door handle bent a bit as she opened the front door and stuck her head out of it. None of the other units seem to have this notice stuck to their doors. Had she been so busy that she hadn't seen other people move out? Had most of the tenants moved out already, so the landlord cut the water? Then again, she wasn't surprised _if_ she really hadn't seen the other tenants move. She _was_ at the hospital or on missions at least till midnight, every night – and no one moved during midnight.

The apartment was old enough to not have heating. That had never been a problem as she had enough blankets and clothing to keep her warm. She had always had a high body temperature and she warmed up pretty easily anyways. Though, being wet and freezing, if Sakura didn't get warmer, she'd die of hypothermia. Upon wanting to make a hot chocolate, she had also noticed that the power was cut.

_F my life._

She knew that she couldn't stay here tonight and she knew that if she did, she'd probably get really sick… if she didn't already. Kicking her brain into high gear as fast as she could, she brainstormed all the places where she can crash for the night.

Parent's house – She wouldn't go back there even if she was starving and in debt. She had spent years convincing her parents that she was responsible enough to live on her own. Once she had turned into a legal adult in the eyes of Konoha, she had moved out. She had the money to support herself from all her missions and ever since becoming a medic, the pay was even better. Her parents had always said that she would come back home soon enough because she couldn't take care of herself. Her pride simply wouldn't let her do that. She had to show them that she was a mature, responsible adult that could take care of herself. She had moved out for years now, and now at age 20, there was no way in hell that she was going to show them that she couldn't fix this herself.

Ino's place – It wasn't a bad idea as Ino had her own place, but seeing how it was in the middle of the night (or rather, early morning), Ino would probably kill her for waking her up from her beauty sleep and give her hell for it. She'd probably end up having to owe her favours for the rest of her life. Plus, the medic wasn't too fond of finding out what Ino did in the night as she always had guys over at her place. Whatever it was, she didn't want to interrupt.

Naruto's place – Was that place even habitable? The last time she had visited his apartment, she swore there had been eyes looking at her from behind the piles of trash and clothes he had lying around. Don't even remind her about his kitchen. His fridge definitely had things that stopped moving and just stared at her (like _she_ was the odd one) once she had opened the door. It was amazing that the place didn't smell as bad as it looked.

Sasuke's place – They had been on good terms once he had came back to Konoha, and to her and Naruto, it was like he never left. To the rest of Konoha, he was being observed very carefully as people still thought of him as a bit mentally instable. But that didn't say much as she was never that close to him before anyways. She _would_ have to say that he was a bit more social now, when he actually made the effort to be around the team. It made him a _little _bit easier to be around with, but she had always felt inadequate when standing beside him – maybe it was a childhood scar. Even though she could now punch through a 3 feet wide, concrete wall now, it didn't make her feel any less awkward to have him around. Plus, she could just imagine the rumours that would spread once Ino found out and the things Sasuke would say to her when she showed up at his door – _weak._

Then there was her shishou's house… but living with her mentor was really not a good idea. As much of a second mother Tsunade had been to her, she just couldn't imagine living with her. That would be crossing all lines of professionalism.

So who did that leave her with? She didn't feel comfortable living with any one of the other rookie nine members. Hinata might have been a good choice as they have worked together a couple of times at the hospital, but it was the rest of her family that scared her. She wasn't talking about Neji, he was a nice guy once you got to know him, but the fact that the Hyuuga's had so much power scared the crap out of her. Their family house was so big that if she crashed at their house, she'd probably get lost multiple times while trying to find the bathroom and her parents would find out for sure – even _if_ her parents didn't socialize with the ninja circles.

She was sure that Lee would be more than glad to keep her company and let her crash at his place for a while, but her mental state couldn't handle him at the moment.

Thinking some more, she could only think of one possibility.

_Hatake Kakashi._

Sure, she knew the guy, but there was something odd about Kakashi these days. It wasn't because of the fact that he was her teacher years ago, but perhaps it was the fact that he either treated her like a total stranger or like a child. She wondered if he did this with the rest of the team, or if it was just to her. Whenever she saw him and waved to him on the streets, he would either ignore her (which totally made her feel like an idiot by the way) and go on reading his porn, or he would give you a glance and sometimes a nod. Once in a blue moon, when he was feeling less lazy, he would lift his hand and give you a 'yo'. She hadn't seen the guy in a couple of months, hadn't had a decent conversation with the guy in a good year or so and there could be that possibility that he just didn't want her around, so he avoided her… but right about now, she was pretty desperate for a nice warm roof over her head and couldn't care less about what he thought.

Kakashi's place – The only reason she knew where he lived was because she had to stalk him to his house during one of the early days and it had become her hobby. The reason for that? Well, there were multiple reasons.

1. To wake him up for practice and find him before he can claim to have gotten lost on the path of life.  
2. To drag him to practice before the rest of the team had to wait for hours – she was not a patient person, or to find something to do before she blew a fuse.  
3. To give him a piece of her mind for dropping her in the lake during one training session.  
4. To take revenge for scaring the crap out of her during the bell test in the early days.  
5. To find out what he looked like under his mask – while she had that bet going with Naruto and Sasuke.

By no means was she a stalker, but before she knew it – this had become a game to her. She was just an overly curious person. After multiple failures of trying to find out where he lived, she had finally succeeded during one of the times when she was working in the hospital. When he was still her teacher and when she was still a Genin, he had always somehow managed to lose her when she was following him – but not this time. This happened when Kakashi was injured and was walking home from the hospital after getting treated. For him to be in the hospital, it had to be a pretty serious injury, but despite the seriousness, he had wanted out as soon as possible. The staff had let him out, and Sakura took this opportunity to find out where he lived. By then, she didn't need to know, as he was no longer her teacher, but her curiosity got the best of her. She was picking on the injured, but it was Kakashi. He picked on her, someone who was almost half his size a couple years ago, multiple times – so she didn't really care. She presumed that he was pretty out of it, because he was tired enough to not notice her presence – therefore not using any ninjutsu to disappear in the middle of thin air. Success was hers.

But she had never personally been inside his house. She knew that she didn't have to worry about gossip as not a lot of people knew where he lived nor would he talk to anyone about it, if she moved to his house for a while – he was just anti-social like that or maybe he would just rather read his porn than talk to anyone. She wasn't sure, but she _was_ sure that her parents would never know. And unless Ino found out, it was perfectly safe. The blonde didn't know where Kakashi lived anyways, nor would she ever look for him like she would look for Sasuke. And if, by any chance she _did_ find out, there could be a good chance that she wouldn't care. A bonus was added as he was no longer her mentor or teacher. They were of the same rank ever since last year – therefore no lines of professionalism were being crossed.

But one question remained.

_Was Kakashi's house habitable? _

When her fingers started getting numb, she decided that she really had no other choice. She started to grab some warmer clothes and got dressed. She started to look for her umbrella and as luck would have it, she couldn't find it in the dark. At times like these, she had wished that she purchased some batteries for her flashlight. One would think that she would have been more prepared as a kunoichi. Giving up after getting frustrated, she continued to pack up some stuff for the night and headed for the door without the umbrella.

_Here's to hoping that Kakashi's place is better than Naruto's._

Just when she thought that her night couldn't get any worse, half way through her jog to Kakashi's house, it started to pour. Looking up to the dark hazy sky, she could only think of one thing.

_Why me… I never did anything to upset anyone, did I?_

By the time she reached Kakashi's door, she was completely drenched and her hair was hanging all over her face and eyes. She wasn't sure if she was thankful for not using any make up – at least she didn't look like she got punched or had a panda looking face. Judging from the faint reflection in a puddle, she knew that she looked like a miserable half-drowned cat. But she didn't care at the moment. She wanted warmth and sleep. She could only pray to God that Kakashi wouldn't make fun of her for it for the rest of her life. Maybe if she drugged him during his sleep, he wouldn't remember how she looked like right now. With an exasperated sigh, she knocked on the door.

And that's when Kakashi answered the door.

After several minutes of silence, he never shut the door in her face. He just simply stood there, leaning against the door frame while she stood in the rain. He never invited her in nor did he tell her to go away. She didn't know what he was thinking. His tone, as normal, had no emotions and she could feel that he was just staring blankly at her. She was glad that she hadn't heard the door close yet and that he wasn't mad for her waking him up so early in the morning. She knew that he needed his rest as much as she needed hers, and sleep was more than needed now. At least she had to be thankful that her shift didn't start till 6pm today.

When Sakura finally gathered up the courage, she looked up at her ex-sensei and met his mismatched eyes.

And that's when Sakura's heart stopped.

Suddenly, she felt, as if coming here might have been a bad idea after all. And living here for a while might be more than she can take.

* * *

Well… this is the second KakaSaku story (that is more than a one-shot) that I will be writing. Hopefully, I have improved and have gotten better than my first time when I wrote Catching Up.

Thanks for reading!  
There is more to come!


	2. Strange yet Familiar

**Breathe – Chapter 1**

_Kurai-Hisaki_

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

* * *

Clearly the Copy Ninja had not been fully awake when he answered his door. Sakura had to do a double-take at him to make sure that she had got the right house; after all, she had only seen him go inside his apartment once. Less than half a meter away from her, stood a creature that she had never seen before. She just outright stared at him with no shame. Because there stood someone with one piece of fabric less than she had ever seen before.

By now, the sun had started to rise, but the rain clouds had blocked much of the rays. Everything looked hazy and foggy to her. Due to her lack of sleep and lack of chakra, it was hard for her to focus on anything. As much as she would like to stare at his mask-less face and remember it, she felt faint and her vision started to blur. Black spots clouded bits of her vision and her face started to numb. It was really disappointing that the one time that she got to see his face; she couldn't see it properly because of her own vision failing on her. It was even more disappointing that she wouldn't be able to brag to Naruto and Sasuke about it. Mumbling a quick 'I'll explain later', she invited herself into his unit and crashed on the nearest surface that she could find.

When she woke up, she felt disoriented and was confused for a second about where she was. It was silent and as her vision came into focus, she looked around and remembered what had happened earlier that morning.

_Had I really seen Kakashi-sensei's face or had I dreamt it?_

At any rate, it was a shame because she couldn't remember what he looked like. But all she knew that when she did get a glimpse of his face this morning, she had been staring and she knew that her heart missed a beat. Could she say that he looked like an angel with the hazy glow? Shaking her head mentally, she figured that would be an awkward way to describe her ex-sensei.

She slowly sat up to find that Kakashi was no where to be found and that the asshole had left her right where she crashed – on the floor. Her neck and back popped and cracked as she moved from sleeping stiffly on the floor the whole night. She wasn't sure if she thought of him as kind or caring when she found that a thin shirt had been dropped on her earlier that morning. From the feel of it, he just dropped it over her without making sure if the shirt actually covered all of her, as half of her legs were sticking out and the shirt wasn't a small one either. He was no angel. For all she knew, he could have been changing and after flinging his shirt in a random direction, it just so happened to rest on her.

Walking around his small apartment, she eventually found his washroom to get freshened up. As she walked around his apartment, she found no note that had been left for her. Kakashi had simply just disappeared and left her in his apartment. Should she be glad that he trusted her? Then again, like her, he probably didn't have anything precious in here anyways (maybe besides his porn).

Glancing at the clock, she almost had a mini heart attack.

_5:45pm_

She was going to be late for work! Another 16 minutes and Tsunade's going to have her head on a platter. Whipping towards the front door, she grabbed her shoes and pulled them on as she made her way down the stairs. Opening the main doors, she soared down the streets while she hopped over huge puddles made by last night's storm. Stopping by her house, she stuffed her uniform in the nearest bag she could find and decided that she'll change when she got to the hospital.

Placing her foot on the window still and jumping out of her window, she flew down the rest of the way from her house to the hospital (via rooftops) and skidded into the building in record time.

_5:58pm_

Making her way to the nearest washroom, she slammed the stall's door and yanked her shorts down and her skirt up. While zipping up her vest, she made her way to report to Tsunade. She really didn't understand why her medic uniforms are white. It was a really impractical colour. Seeing how blood can stain it and a little bit of liquid can make it see through, she wore a tank top under her vest at all times. She laced her soles with chakra and pushed up the stairs – 4 steps at a time. Running up the stairs, she hastily clipped her medic hat (which was white with a red cross in the front) on and knocked on the doors.

"Come in."

Upon walking into her office, the clock read '_6:00'_

_Safe!_

The blonde eyed her suspiciously as Sakura made her way to her desk. Getting up, Tsunade eyed her up and down.

"What is it shishou?"

Her hands adjusted Sakura's skirt and made its' way up to her hair to brush out her hair and re-clip her hat.

"Had a rough night?"

With a slight blush, Sakura replied, "Yeah… kinda… um… last night was a long and tiring night."

A blonde eyebrow rose. "Hmm?"

"No, I mean… uh… not that I'm complaining, but last night's ANBU group just really tired me out and I was running low on sleep. Then my apartment half broke down on me and I'm just really tired because I really only just slept when the sun rose. I guess I have to be grateful that the shift started at 6pm today and - "

Tsunade responded with an amused look, "Was that all it was? I was merely concerned because you are usually here early. Why are you stuttering? Tonight isn't a busy night; you can probably go home before midnight hits. Now shoo, floor 3 needs help with some patients, report to the front counter when you get there."

With a bow, Sakura made her way to the doors, but before she left she turned back around to ask her shishou a question.

"Umm… do you think I can take a day off tomorrow?"

A blonde eyebrow rose again.

"I mean… if it's not too busy, I have some things to take care of at home and would like to take care of it as soon as possible. If anything, just send someone to find me and I'll come right back to help – if it's an emergency."

Tsunade continued to look at her with suspicion, but Sakura breathed out a breath of relief when she finally said, "Sure. You have worked a lot this year anyway, a little break wouldn't hurt. Come back in a day or two when you finished your personal matters."

Sakura bowed lower this time, "Thank you, shishou!"

Slowly making her way out, she was beyond relieved when the Godaime hadn't questioned her about what was going on. She was thankful to her for respecting her private life. Without the rush, she slowly took the elevator back down to the 3rd floor after running up 10 floors. Why had she been so nervous when talking to her shishou anyways? Perhaps she was just scared she was in one of her moods and arriving just on time was not good enough. Oh, who was she kidding? She knew it was because she hadn't slept at her own house after work. It wasn't like she did anything wrong this morning. She had only found the most suitable place for her to crash for the night. There was nothing wrong with that – right? There was nothing wrong with the fact that she slept at Kakashi-sensei's house – right? Why was she so nervous – for God's sake, she slept on the floor! Her so-called ex-sensei didn't even give her the bed and had left her on the hard, wooden floor! But then again, she shouldn't be complaining, she wasn't sick and she had been warm this morning.

She really should go out more; it felt weird to sleep at someone else's house that wasn't her own or her parents. She couldn't even remember the last time she slept at Ino's house – Ino came to hers more than half the time. She never gets drunk (no surprise there with Tsunade being her shishou), so she _always _made it home after hitting up a club or a bar. Letting out a sigh of relief, she was glad that she didn't have to lie to her shishou. She was sure that if she did lie, the Godaime would see through it in an instant. Sakura had never been a good liar, she was told that she would always smile, fidget or look away when she lied. She pretty much gave the other person all the clues that flashed and pointed to '_I am lying.' _Lying to the Hokage is not a good idea.

After reporting to the front counter, the rest of the night had pretty much gone by in a blur. There haven't been any major casualties, and all she had to heal were a couple of minor cuts from sparring practices and one kid's broken arm from falling off a slide. Being glad that she can leave the hospital at around 12am, she decided that she was going to go back to her own home to see if it was habitable.

It was not.

If anything, it was worse.

The soaked carpets had started to smell like they were wet towels that had been left in a plastic bag for weeks. Her pillows and mattresses made a _'squish' _sound as she pushed on it. The bottom of the walls was damp and the wallpaper rolled up from being wet. It smelt horrid. She swore that mould and mushrooms were going to grow on her pillow and carpet. Maybe it was a good thing that the place was going to be knocked down anyways, or else she'd have to pay a lot to fix this place up. Coming to the conclusion that it would not be worth the effort to move her furniture, she left them there. She supposed that this was a good time for her to buy new things after she found a more permanent place to live. Exhaling a loud sigh, she started to pack up all of her belongings and the little food that she had. Leaving her key and a note in her landlord's mailbox, she bid good bye to her home of 4 years.

During her walk to the other side of town, she decided to stop at the convenience store and bought herself a small bento. Placing herself in front of the store, under the streetlight, she sat on the curb and ate. Besides the location, this was her typical night. But she had to admit, she felt a bit homeless.

She didn't bump into anyone that night – for that she was once again grateful. She wasn't sure what she'd tell people if they asked why she was sitting on the curb eating and not at home. She wasn't even quite sure why she didn't bring this back to Kakashi's house to eat. It was possible that she didn't want to bother him; after all she hadn't exactly asked him for permission to stay the night, she just kind of invited herself and collapsed. She hadn't wanted to bother him, but she really didn't have a choice. Now that it wasn't as urgent that she needed shelter, maybe it was for the best that she didn't show up in front of him so often.

This brought her back to all the times that she saw him around the village. From gossip, she knew that not a lot of people knew where he lived – therefore, no one would ever sleep over at his place. Maybe no one knew because he was hard to locate around town (during those rare times when he was in town and not on a mission), or maybe it was because he didn't want anyone to find out to keep his privacy. Did she just intrude on his privacy? It could just be guilt talking to her now. Turning back around towards the store, she decided to buy an extra bento for Kakashi to thank him.

Making her way back up and turning the doorknob of the front door of his unit, she realized that she hadn't locked the door this morning. She mentally hit herself. Another stupid thing to do, she should have just used the window. She would never forgive herself if someone broke in and stole all of his stuff, precious or not – perhaps his furniture would be considered precious. She certainly wanted to sit on a comfy chair. Maybe his furniture was just precious to her.

She held her breath as she peeked into the apartment. Another sigh of relief could be heard. Everything should be intact, but then again… it wasn't as if she remembered much of this morning or afternoon. It was silent again. She vaguely wondered where the silver-haired ninja was. Dropping her stuff in the corner where she slept yesterday, she looked around the rest of the living room. After turning on the lights, she took a good look at his apartment.

It was simple. There was a couch, but no television. She supposed there was nothing good to watch in Konoha anyways, nor did the both of them have time to watch TV. There were several bookcases full of his books – whether they were all porn, she didn't know. But from the looks of it, there were some books that weren't the usual orange colour that she had grown use to seeing. There was no clutter in the living room, but she did see dust on the shelves and tables. There were the essentials for the home – chairs, table, couch and she assumed that she had a bed somewhere in his room. It reminded her of her own apartment. Though it was older, it was maintained very well and it had heating. It was comfortable.

Upon going into the bathroom and stepping into the shower that she found this morning, she mentally slapped herself as she closed the door and turned on the water. She really must have been losing her mind, or she really needed to catch up on some proper rest. She had left her towel and toiletries in her bag, outside, in the living room. Sighing, she looked around to see what she could use for her shower. She found 2 bottles. One – shampoo, the other, body wash. There was no face wash or conditioner. She made a mental note to wash her face with her face wash after this shower. A fleeting thought passed her head.

_Maybe that's why he wears a mask… no face wash._

But she shook that out of her head, as yesterday even through the haze, she saw no redness or blemishes on his face - unless the haze acted like a heavy foundation or powder for his face, or unless she was very tired and was seeing things, his face had been flawless.

_Maybe he wore make up._

She giggled to herself.

_And no conditioner? No wonder his hair looked like it's been dead for the past century and that it lacked nourishment so much that it just sticks up when you lift it. That couldn't be the reason why his hair is grey right?_

She vaguely wondered if his hair snapped if you bend it a certain way. She knew his hair was naturally silver and not grey, but she had teased him about it before – calling him old. Deep down, she was glad that someone had naturally abnormal hair colour like she did. She felt silly for putting too much thought into stupid things – she definitely needed to sleep soon. Stepping out of the shower, she felt like an idiot as she swung her arms around and tried to air-dry herself before putting on her tank top and shorts. At times like these, she was extra thankful for short hair and that it didn't drip for very long. Before she got ready to sleep, she took out the bento she had bought earlier, and left it on the living room table. Finding some paper, she left him a note.

_Dear Kakashi-Sensei,_

_I'm not sure where you are right now, but thank you for not kicking me out. I'm sorry for intruding on your privacy and I will be out as soon as possible. I'm sure you can care less about my explanation, but I'll explain to you once I see you… it's a long story._

_Anyways, I'm sorry once again.  
__Here's a bento that I bought for you.  
__Thank you._

_-Sakura._

Going back to her corner, she wondered if she should take the couch instead. But what happens if Kakashi actually didn't have a bed and he just slept on the couch? Or what happens if tonight just happens to be the night that he wanted to sleep on the couch? She knew that she crashed on her couch sometimes, even though she had her own bed. Being on the couch was more convenient for getting up in the morning – it was easier. If she took it, then she would feel guilty for the rest of her life. Folding the shirt that had been dropped on her this morning, on the couch, she figured that she had more manners than to intrude on someone's space and to take their stuff – on that note, she really shouldn't go check if he owned a bed. She was glad that she didn't pick up that habit of intruding someone's space from Ino, despite hanging around her for her whole life.

Deciding that the floor would make her feel better, she settled in. She felt a bit like a pet, but at least she had a sleeping bag tonight. The floor was harder than the usual grass that she would sleep on during missions; however at any rate it was more comfortable than rocks. Making a make-shift pillow out of a couple of sweaters, she laid her head down. She went through the plans that she had when she woke up. The first thing she'd do was to find a new place to live in so she wouldn't have to keep dragging people down. She hated to burden people, especially someone as independent and carefree as Kakashi.

Slowly drifting to sleep, she worried about her ex-sensei. Even though she knew that he was more than capable to take care of himself – and had been more than capable when she needed taking care of as well; she couldn't help but wonder if he was always not home or if he always went out this late. She couldn't help but wonder when he'd come home. After using his shampoo and body wash, she found that she smelt a bit like him. It felt weird, but the smell was comforting.

Maybe her mind subconsciously remembered the smell from all the times that they were together during Team 7's missions. Maybe it was from all the times that he would carry her whenever she got hurt or broke her foot or leg. She smiled as she thought of the memories where she had to be saved from the littlest things, and had to be carried because of the tiniest injuries. Now, it was part of her job to look after the younger generation as well as the older generation during her medic duties. It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy that – no, she took pride in what she did and in being a medic; but she had to admit that she missed being cared for more than necessary some times. Maybe it made her feel more feminine. Having too much power and being the Hokage's apprentice made guys stay away from her. They only looked from afar, and none had ever expressed wanting to have a serious relationship with her. She supposed being best friends with the Kyuubi container who also happens to be the Yondaime's son and the last Uchiha was bound to send some guys running as well.

She had been through a lot since then and she knew that she had grown to be a lot stronger than when Team 7 was first formed. Ever since the day Sasuke left, she had realized that the world was not a simple one. Her heart shattered and she stood up to mend the pieces by herself. When he came back, she had understood that humans were very complicated creatures. The distant memory made her drift away from consciousness even more. The past day had just been chaotic and her life just got more complicated when she crashed at Kakashi's place, but the smell brought her back to her early teenage days when everything had been so stress free – easy and simple.

The last thing she heard was footsteps towards her, but she was too tired to lift her head or open her eyes. With a small smile, she slowly inhaled a deep breath.

It was a strange yet familiar feeling.

She felt protected.

* * *

TBC


	3. Missing

**Breathe – Chapter 2**

_Kurai-Hisaki_

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

* * *

When Sakura woke up, she felt as if she had just had the best sleep in years. Blinking away the fogginess in her eyes, she rubbed her eyes as she sat up. There was no rush today. For once, she didn't have to work. She silently smiled to herself as she inhaled the familiar scent that she had fallen asleep to. It felt great to just sit and to take in the fresh morning air.

Then she realized that something was out of place. Rather – she was out of place. She hadn't woken up in the corner on the floor that she had fallen asleep on. Looking around, she noticed that this room was painted a little bit darker than the living room that she had seen before. There was a desk beside the bed that she was sitting on.

_Wait… bed?_

Surely, looking down she saw that she was half covered in a shuriken-printed blanket. Now she was confused. She was sure that she had fallen asleep on the floor last night; because she had made sure that she hadn't slept anywhere else. With a gasp, she swung her legs off the bed and made her way to the living room.

As usual, it was silent.

So much for thinking that Kakashi was kind enough to give her, no - carry her, to his bed.

Honestly, she was being over hopeful. This was the guy who had ignored her for a year, what had she hoped for - for him to just open up and accept her as a friend and teammate again after all this time? Not likely. He probably stayed far away as possible from the academy after being dragged into leading Team 7, and probably never carried another person after the things she put him through. She wasn't even sure what she did wrong for him to be avoiding her. Sure, she knew that she was a somewhat annoying girl when she was a kid, but which girl wasn't stupid and giggly when they had a crush? Maybe he'd been avoiding everyone and she was just being over sensitive.

Before turning back into the room to make the bed, she noticed that something else was different. Running over to the table that she had left the note and bento on last night, she noticed that the note was still there (slightly moved, 5 centimetres to the left to be exact), but the bento was gone.

_So… he did come back home!_

Looking at the couch, she could see that the thin shirt that she had left there the night before was carelessly spread out over the seats.

Now this didn't make sense. He took the couch while he gave her the bed? If he was such a gentleman, why didn't he do so the first night? Was it really Kakashi-sensei that put her to bed? She had been told that she sleepwalks sometimes, had she sleepwalked to his bed and kicked him out of it? The more she thought, the more horrified, embarrassed and guilty she got. Emotions flashed across her face as the thoughts crossed her mind. She would have to apologize when he comes home tonight. Then it hit her. Her mouth slightly dropped and the guilt washed away – it was probably because she bought him food last night so he repaid her by letting her sleep on the bed. She smirked to herself as she made a mental note to buy him something else tonight.

Going back to the corner where all her stuff was, she dug through her bags to find that she really needed to shop for more civilian clothing. The only thing she had was a pair of jeans with multiple rips in them and a small, old, red tank top. She felt weird that she didn't have to wear her uniform or her usual training clothes. It was then that she realized that she hadn't taken a break off being a kunoichi in a long time.

She had always felt like the hospital was her second home. It was nice to be there, to feel needed and to help others. She had never taken a break because she didn't need it. She didn't feel emotionally tired from working because she enjoyed it so much, and the breaks in between the shifts always gave her time to heal physically whenever things got too rough.

Putting the dark long sleeve shirt that was part of the Jounin uniform on top of the red tank top, she put on her shoes and made sure to hop out the window this time.

The first stop on her list, of course, was the agency for apartments. Passing by the bakery, she picked up melon bread and ate it on the way there. As her bad luck would have it, another note was posted on the entrance.

**Closed until November 20****th**** for family emergencies.  
Sorry for the inconvenience.**

By now, it wasn't too surprising that things didn't go her way. It was inconvenient, that was for sure, but family matters cannot be avoided and Sakura knew all too well about family emergencies. The village was small and she was acquainted with the owner of this agency so she wasn't too mad, but this would mean that she would have to spend, yet another night at her ex-sensei's house. She was sure that he would kick her out when she got home tonight, but at least she had an excuse. She owed him a night of very long stories. At least November 20th was tomorrow and it's not too far away… hopefully one more night wouldn't hurt.

Walking down the ever familiar street, she decided that she would stop by Ino's flower shop to see what she was up to.

Upon walking into her store, Ino was chatting up the nearest male who just happened to look like he walked out of a magazine. When the blue-eyed blonde saw Sakura, she waved her over.

"Hey, Forehead! How's it going?"

"Nothing much… just seeing what you were up to."

Seeing Ino glance back at the guy, she winked at him and Sakura saw them exchanging some sort of contact information before he turned around to leave.

"Just seeing what I'm up to? You never come here just to see what I'm up to, what's up?"

Sakura just ignored her question and asked one of her own in surprise. "Ino! You flirt, aren't you already dating someone?"

"That was last week!" She put her hands on her hips as she continued. "Keep up with the times!"

Sakura simply rolled her eyes then stared at her flatly.

"By the way, why are you dressed like a slob? Those jeans look like they've been through a lot. It's a shame to be standing next to someone like you when you are dressed like that. Do we need to go shopping or something?"

"It was all I had, and that sounds like an idea. Are you busy?"

"Naw, the fall isn't a great season to be selling flowers. It's too cold to keep some nice ones on display outside. I'll let my parents know that I'm leaving for a while. I'll be right back."

Sakura took this time to look around her best friend's shop. Certainly, the flowers are not as bright and cheerful as they were in the spring, but Sakura felt that nature during the fall and winter season had their own charm. The trees were bare but the colourful leaves that swirled near the ground were beautiful. She had always felt that each season had its own charm and each was needed to compliment and contrast the one that was opposite, but she supposed that if one village had the same season all year round (like the snow village), it would be fun too. If Konoha had snow all the time, it would be fun to build snowmen when she wanted to or to throw snowballs at people when she wanted to vent anger without hurting anyone.

"Hey, stop dreaming, let's go!"

The medic felt herself being dragged out the door before her mind could process directions to her feet. Since the agency was closed, she was delighted that she could catch up on some much needed shopping. With her working so much, she was sure that she can go on a some-what shopping splurge today.

"Hey Ino, are you doing anything for Christmas?"

"That's so far away! But I'm going to get my hands on that guy and get him to go to a party with me, what about you?"

"Not sure… I mean, haven't had the chance to do much for Christmas before... Maybe that's why I'm thinking about it early this year. I realized that I've been working a lot and skipped out on a lot of holidays. I mean… the hospital doesn't stop running just because of a holiday right? I think this year, I'd actually like to spend time writing cards or making presents or watch other people get presents. Maybe sit at home with a book and …"

"You sound like a granny."

Sakura just scowled and glared at her.

"What? It's true. You need to get out more. Who the hell spends Christmas at home, alone?"

"I'm not hoping to be alone all day…"

Ino's eyes suddenly brightened as she grinned. "Really… so who's the guy? Do I know him?"

"Sure you do. Naruto and Sasuke."

"Sakura… you really need to get a boyfriend. Let me hook you up with someone."

Sakura knew that she was just trying to be nice, but Ino had some pretty weird tastes when it came to guys. For Sakura, she had learned that in order for her to fall in love with someone again, it would be not base on looks. Ino had no problems with going out and sleeping with guys just because they looked hot, but for Sakura… she knew that her heart wouldn't be able to take it. Opening herself out there just to get her heart shattered again was not smart – and smarts, was something that Sakura had. Her heart was a complicated, strong yet fragile thing. Thinking about her past romances were depressing, so she just grinned and replied, "Hell no!" to Ino.

Turning into the nearest clothing store in the shopping district and catching the piece of fabric being flung her way, Sakura felt somewhat glad that she came to find Ino to kill her boredom… until she looked at what the piece of clothing was.

"Ino! This is not underwear! This is a piece of fabric attached on with loops and strings!"

"It has a name, and it _is _underwear."

"I refuse to wear this."

She received a glare from Ino, but Sakura had grown out of the stage of falling into peer pressure.

"Fine, what about this one?"

Looking at what Ino held out, Sakura had to admit that it looked a _little _more conservative than the thing before. It was spaghetti strapped - a white dress that bunched up and criss-crossed around the chest area with multiple folds. Apparently it was a type of dress that one could wear to sleep. Warily taking the dress from Ino, she was pushed into the change room by the enthusiastic blonde.

"INO! WHY DO YOU MAKE ME WEAR THIS STUFF?!"

The blonde kunoichi stuck her head around the curtain to Sakura's change room.

"What? I think it looks nice! You know what? Try this on too. Don't take off the dress."

Sakura glanced at herself in the mirror while Ino went to scramble for more clothes to dress her in. She had to admit that she looked nice with the white dress – or rather, the white top. The 'dress' just covered her butt and it was not much of a dress in Sakura's opinion. The other thing that concerned her was that it was slightly sheer and see-through in the light.

"I know what you're thinking Forehead, but you know what? It's a baby-doll nightgown, you wear it to sleep. Who's going to see you in it? You live at home with no one but yourself."

The green eyed kunoichi was a horrible liar, thus she chose not to say anything about her apartment being half destroyed and that she is now living at Kakashi's. Silence was the best method for terrible liars. She was right though, it wasn't as if she was going to walk around her ex-sensei's apartment with this nightgown on therefore no one would ever see her in it except herself and Ino (who peeked in earlier and didn't care about Sakura's privacy).

"Gosh Ino, you make me sound pathetic."

"You _are_ pathetic. You need a boyfriend soon! I don't want to see you single your whole life."

"I'm only TWENTY!"

"Hey, we're ninjas, we can die tomorrow. Get your hands on what you can, girl! Twenty may be your last year in the living world."

"Don't jinx me." Sakura just glared again, but it would seem that Ino had gotten use to it and was pretty immune to her glare.

"I'm not! I only speak the truth. Anyways, this is a depressing subject, try this on."

"Why am I trying more underwear on?"

"Because the colour suits you and I already have lots of underwear. I have also decided that I'm going to buy that white dress for you since I still owe you a birthday present, late birthday present? Early Christmas present? Extra early birthday present? Oh, whatever... Just take it. You need something good in your life for Christmas."

"Really, I'm good… I really don't need this dress. I'll be fine on Christmas, it's far away anyways."

"Don't deny it, that dress is comfortable! No need to thank me for it."

That conversation ended when Ino shut the curtain again and left Sakura in peace with a new piece of underwear in her hand. It was a cute one that was made from a light pink mesh material with a small white bow. It had more coverage than the skimpy thing that Ino first flung her way, but the bottom of her butt cheeks will still show. If she was going to buy this, it was going to be the prettiest piece of underwear in her whole drawer. All she wore to sleep before were old tank tops and training shorts. She was definitely leaning towards buying it since the colour matched her hair and the dress was _very_ comfortable. Wearing the whole outfit together made her feel more feminine yet innocent than she had in ages – the first quality, she definitely needed more of.

Changing out of it and stepping out of the change room, Ino instantly took the 2 piece of clothing from her hands and dashed to the cashier.

_Guess I don't have to decide… nor do I have much of a choice.  
_

From afar, Sakura saw Ino scribbling something on a piece of paper, but thought nothing of it since it was a normal habit that she knew Ino had. It was a bit strange that she would be scribbling something on a piece of paper to a girl cashier, but perhaps she was filling out a coupon or something. When she was done, Ino handed over the nicely packaged 'late birthday gift, early Christmas gift' to Sakura and they made their way out of the store.

By the time they were done with shopping, Sakura was almost a thousand dollars poorer than before. This shopping trip ended a bit differently than all of their other shopping trips. Usually Ino was the one that came out thousands of dollars shorter than before, but they were pretty equal today. Sakura was surprised that she actually spent so much money on clothes and she was even more surprised that she didn't regret it as much as usual. Another thing that usually happened was that she would feel glad that Ino suggested shopping to kill boredom, but then would feel like crap if she spent too much. Ino had managed to convince her to buy a pair of black heels and a couple of tank tops, skirts and even a black mini dress. She somewhat regretted the black mini dress, but it was on sale - so it made her feel a tad better and she had no idea what she would wear the black heels for, but at least having Ino there, making sure that she didn't spend any more money on shorts, was something she was thankful for. Ino had insisted that she had too many pairs of shorts, and Sakura had to admit that she was right. Sakura also self-justified it as she now had something to go with the heels she bought and that she might need it one day for an undercover mission. When she would go on one, she had no idea, but maybe one day.

Sakura also took this chance to buy a new pillow. Her old one was too flat anyways, and now that it had mould and mushrooms growing on it; she finally decided it was time for a new one. When Ino asked why she was suddenly buying a pillow, she had said that her old one was too flat and was hurting her neck. It wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't entirely a lie. She got away with it.

Today, the 'straight A' student, the hard-working and honest apprentice of the Hokage found out that she could get away with white lies.

_Seems like you learn something new everyday._

After they went their separate ways, Sakura wondered what she would say to Kakashi when she got home. It felt weird that she had slept there for 2 nights (or 1 day and 1 night) now, yet had never said anything to the owner of the house. She felt somewhat rude, even if it was Kakashi. He would have kicked her out if he really didn't want her there, right? But when did they ever have the chance to even talk so that he _could _kick her out? Maybe even if he was an independent person, he was not as cold hearted as some people would think. Maybe he knew that she had some sort of trouble so that he just accepted her without asking any questions. Sakura laughed at bit at herself for describing her ex-sensei as an understanding person. She giggled even more when she remembered him bringing out pots, pans and cold water to wake Team 7 up at 5:00 am in the morning, back in the days during training.

_Nope, not understanding._

On another note, she made sure to get him back one day. Another reason was probably because she stayed out of his way enough that she wasn't troubling him too much so that he could see right past her as if she wasn't there. Maybe that would explain why she hadn't seen much of him lately, but then again… she hadn't seen much of him regardless of whether she was treating him as a patient or not. And if she wasn't in his way, how come she hadn't seen him in so long? This was seriously confusing. She decided that she should stop over thinking and that she needed to just talk to the guy.

Walking past street corner to Kakashi's house, she remembered about needing to buy that bento for Kakashi - so she turned into the same convenience store to buy 2 bento boxes. Again, she ate hers outside and brought the one she bought for Kakashi, home. It would seem that over thinking did her no good after all, because when Sakura opened the front door to the apartment, everything was dark. It would seem that Kakashi never returned home from when she left this morning.

After setting the bento box down on the table, she wrote Kakashi another note.

_Dear Kakashi-Sensei,_

_Please do not be shocked when you find me lying somewhere in your apartment again tonight. I have a perfectly excusable reason. The apartment agency was closed today so I didn't get a chance to look at any other place to stay at._

_I'm sorry, and I know that I still owe you a story about why I'm here in the first place. I'll tell you when I see you. _

_Here's another bento to thank you._

_Once again, I'm sorry for all the trouble._

_-Sakura._

Putting the note beside the food, she dug out her shorts and tank top and headed to the shower. She made sure to bring her own toiletries this time. Placing her things around the shower, she exhaled under the spraying hot water.

_Conditioner is the life…_

When she got out she vaguely wondered where she should sleep again. It had seemed that this was going to be a daily trouble for her. She used to have a hard time deciding what to make for dinner every night so that she could pack extra for lunch. She swore that she lost a lot of brain cells over that, and now this happens.

Emerald eyes turned to the couch as it invited her to sleep on it. Despite the fact that she had slept in Kakashi's bed last night, she didn't feel comfortable just sleeping on it without asking for his permission. That ruled out the bed completely, thus leaving the couch and the floor. The arguments that she had internally in her head from the first night came rushing back. It was strange, but she just felt bad taking over people's space and stuff without asking. Once again, not wanting to trouble Kakashi, she chose the floor – at least she had a pillow tonight. Each day was an improvement for her sleeping and living conditions.

Lying awake on the floor, her mind started wandering. Just where was Kakashi? Maybe it would have been better when she was living alone so that she didn't have to worry about others as much. Sure, she worried about Naruto every day with all the stupid things he did, but he had proven to be fine one trouble after another, so she didn't worry as much after that. Also, with Sasuke back, he could keep an eye on the blonde and keep him out of trouble (or just get in trouble together), but regardless they had each other to rely on.

_Who did Kakashi rely on?_

Last time he got sick, he was down for weeks at the hospital. He was a strange one. He can walk away with giant holes in his stomach in less than a week, and a simple cold can knock him out for almost a month. Sure, he healed and had gotten better than eventually… but that didn't mean that Sakura didn't worry – even _if_ he seemed indifferent about her.

Needless to say, Sakura had a nightmare that night.

* * *

A soft patter on the windows woke Sakura up in the morning. The clouds hid the sun and scattered the light in every direction. The sky was hazy and the air was moist. Sakura idly wondered if this was the same day when she first arrived at Kakashi's apartment and that if all that happened yesterday was just a dream – including that nightmare where her loved ones started to leave her. Maybe she had just been sleeping for the past hours and everything seemed more real to her because she was so tired and wasn't resting properly.

She stiffly sat up from the floor and looked around. Her shopping bags were there so this was definitely another day. Standing up to stretch and squinting at the window, she noticed that it was another rainy day. Quickly glancing at the clock, she realized that she had overslept and it was well into the afternoon already. The nightmare physically drained her and even though she had slept so much, she still felt tired.

Groggily getting dressed, she made her way to the apartment agency again. She pulled her hood over her head as light rain drizzled on her.

_Should have bought an umbrella yesterday…_

Opening the door to the agency, she asked if there were any decently priced apartments that were around the hospital. Distance made a difference to her – especially if she was suddenly called in to perform an emergency operation. Sure, she ran faster than the normal civilian, but the faster the better when it came to healing and giving treatment to the injured.

She wasn't given a lot of choices. There were less than a handful of choices and some of them had no heating. She couldn't live without heating in the winter. A lot of the times after a long day at the hospital, she would just lie on the couch after a warm shower to read a nice book or to just have a mug of hot chocolate – she needed a unit with heating. Other choices were too expensive, especially when she would have to buy a whole new set of furniture.

After narrowing her choices down to 1, she had told the agent that she wanted to look at the unit before moving in. Seconds later, he received a phone call. Guess what? The person on the other line just took the unit.

This was a fact; Sakura wasn't a very well tempered person – particularly after all the things that had happened to her in the past 2 days. She was told that there is a possibility that there will be new units in a month, and that she should come back to check then. Trying to keep her temper in check as she walked out of the store, she politely smiled and said thank you. After all, it wasn't their fault that no one wanted to move out in the middle of autumn, and she didn't want to take her anger out on them especially after they had to deal with a family incident. Deciding to solve her problem and to let out her repressed anger, she walked straight to the training grounds, found the nearest tree, and smashed it.

After destroying half the field and levelling out the field by breaking most of the boulders, she headed to the same convenience store and bought her usual bento boxes. When she got home, the first thing her emerald eyes fell on after looking around was the untouched bento that sat on the table.

_He never came home?_

It was a bit odd, but being a ninja, it didn't strike her as too out of the ordinary that he didn't come home. There were a couple times where she had to stay overnight performing duties at the hospital too so she had thought that perhaps he went on an overnight mission and will come back later tonight.

She was wrong.

* * *

A month flew by and Sakura hadn't heard from or seen Kakashi. She passed time by performing her daily duties at the hospital during the day and working until it was night. It almost seemed like she had gone back to her normal life style before all this happened – aside from the fact that she still lived at her ex-sensei's apartment. Sometimes when she had the time, she would help Kakashi clean the house, wipe off the dust that had gathered on the furniture and water , his plant that Naruto had given him. She never bothered to look for another place after leaving the agency disappointed for the third time, because her sensei was never here in the first place. She never had the chance to explain what happened, but by now, she had just accepted the fact that Kakashi didn't give a care in the world whether she was here or not. She didn't know where he was nor did she know when he was returning, so she also decided that she didn't care whether he was here or not. As much as she told her mind not to care, her heart still did. It was just part of her nature to be caring of her teammates.

Sakura had, sometime during this month, asked the Godaime where her sensei was. The memory of the awkward conversation made her frown. She remembered that it was the morning during the middle of the month where she had a night shift. During the afternoon, she had wandered into her shishou's office and asked her the question that had been bothering her for half the month. Her shishou's eyebrows had creased and her gaze shifted away from Sakura's for a slight second. When their eyes met, she had been questioned about why she needed to know. Sakura didn't have an answer and had said that she was just simply curious. "Curiosity killed the cat" was the reply she had gotten from her shishou before she was sent on her way, out of the office.

_What's going on? Where is he?_

_

* * *

_TBC

This chapter was a bit boring, but I thought it was needed for character development. It was also hell to write because it wasn't going anywhere and I had no idea where to end it. Someone commented that it was strange or funny that Sakura would sleep on the floor, but I was trying to put myself in her situation and I felt that I would have also felt bad if I just slept on someone's furniture without asking (especially when I just crashed and didn't have much time to talk to the owner about why I was there). I suppose that would be because I am also weird *haha*. I also felt that the part with Sakura and Ino was a bit weird, but I'm not sure why.

Have a safe Halloween for those who are going out to party and get candy! I'm being a Pichu, (my friend is a Pikachu)! Hopefully we will take some pictures so that I can post on deviantart.

Thank you for the many reviews (especially for the prologue, I had gotten more than I thought I would – which surprised me). Thanks again!


	4. First Snowfall

**Breathe – Chapter 3**

_Kurai-Hisaki_

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

* * *

A gentle knock on the door woke Sakura from her restless slumber. Her eyes were dry and it hurt when she blinked. Crawling out of her spot, with her hair sticking in all directions, she made her way to open the door.

"Shizune?"

"Good morning Sakura."

Sakura looked at her with slight confusion. "How did you know I was here?"

"I have already checked your apartment and found it to be a mess. I was told to check here after."

Sakura slightly narrowed her eyes and looked at her somewhat suspiciously. "By… who?"

"Tsunade-sama. She knew that you were going to be here for some reason. I remember her wondering out loud why you were so concerned for Kakashi, and I think she just pieced it together that you were living here and thus why you were wondering why Kakashi had been gone for so long and knew that he was gone in the first place."

"I see…" Sakura vaguely wondered how Shizune knew where Kakashi lived, with him being such an introvert and all, but she figured that it was one of the perks of being the Hokage's assistance. She must have secret information of all the shinobi around the village as well as their every action on record. Then Sakura's eyebrow furrowed a bit.

Shizune must have sensed her distressed because she quickly added, "Don't worry, you are here for a reason and we won't question what that reason is. I was actually here to ask you if you had a moment right now."

"Oh…" Sakura looked relieved, then looked down at her state of clothing and replied, "What's up?" She absent-mindedly tried to comb out her hair with her hands as Shizune explained the situation.

"You are needed at the hospital. Some of the nurses took today off and we suddenly have an emergency."

Sakura inwardly groaned as she shook off her morning grogginess and kicked herself into high gear. "Explain to me as we go, let me just get dressed real quick." Running to her bags then to the washroom, she was dressed in her uniform and was out the window with Shizune in less than a minute.

"I'm sorry to have to suddenly call you in like this. There weren't supposed to be any teams returning today so we let some of the nurses take a break, but a team came back unexpectedly and some of them were injured quite badly. There had also been an accident in the civilian areas. It seems that one of the apartments had set on fire. No one knows the cause and there are multiple casualties."

"How many is some and multiple?"

"Before I set out for you, there were around 5 shinobi in various states and a dozen civilians, but they were still rushing people in."

Sakura's heart quickened as blood rushed through her head and pounded in her ears. She ran through medical procedures in her head as she steadied her voice to confirm what she had heard.

"Okay, we better hurry then." Pushing a little more chakra into her soles, Sakura accelerated forward and headed to the hospital.

As Sakura stepped into the hospital, she could instantly tell that the area was chaotic. Families were crying and some were yelling at each other. The place was overflowing with depressing emotions. Sakura jumped out of the way as a stretcher was carted through the halls and she followed it. From the short moment, she knew that the injuries had been serious. Blood dripped from the stretcher as it was being wheeled into the emergency room. She was immediately assigned the role of captain to heal the severely injured team. A clipboard was shoved into her hands and her eyes automatically started scanning the page for any background information, details and procedures. Her heart stopped when her eyes rested on a particular piece of information.

_Kakashi's team._

As if she didn't know that her heart could pound any louder, it did. She suddenly felt nauseous and she leaned against the nearest wall to catch her breath. She knew that she was being unprofessional for the line of duty that she was in, but she never had to deal with patients with serious injuries that were her close friends and teammates. She had been one of the lucky ones who had never lost anyone close to her ever since she had started out in the academy. Her hands shook as she suddenly didn't know what to do or how she should feel.

"Sakura, snap out of it. We need your help."

Dry emerald eyes snapped up to see honey brown eyes looking back.

In less than a whisper, Sakura asked, "Shishou… why didn't you tell me… why didn't you tell me where he was?"

"Would it have mattered? He had left for his mission anyways. I can't say that I know how you are feeling, but Kakashi does not prioritize above other people. I don't know what happened between you two, but patients are patients, and right now there are multiple wounded shinobi waiting for us to heal them, so get a hold of yourself."

Sakura bit her lips from yelling back at her. Nothing had happened between them, so why was she so upset, sad, worried and angry all at the same time? She wanted to scream and yell, and to be mad at her shishou for being so cold, but she knew that the Godaime was right. Kakashi may have been important to her because he had looked after her when she was little, but right now, there are multiple families that are waiting for the wounded to be healed. To them, they were just as important. No patient prioritized above others. All Sakura could do was give Tsunade a look of understanding and a nod.

"What happened…?"

"His team had been assigned to an S-rank mission to the country of the mist. It was supposed to be nothing that the team couldn't have handled, so I'm guessing something unexpected had happened." Tsunade continued to speak after Sakura stopped shaking. "Anyway, Kakashi's not here."

With wide eyes and a breathless whisper, Sakura's mouth slightly dropped as she gasped out, "What?"

"He's not here, Sakura. His team is, but he's not."

"… What does that mean?"

"I don't know. There are only 2 possibilities…" Tsunade rested her hand on Sakura's petite shoulders. "I've sent a couple ANBU to search and secure the area." When Sakura started to shake again, she continued. "Sakura… don't worry, I'm sure he's fine and that he's waiting at home. You know how much that man hates the hospital."

Sakura could only half smile at her in hopes that she was right.

_Kakashi will be alright. He always had been… when situations turn to its worst._

"I'm sorry for calling you in for this, but we need all the help we can get, and your skills are definitely needed…"

After taking a large intake of air, Sakura exhaled, "Don't worry, I'm okay."

"Alright, put this on and head to the emergency room."

Sakura stared at the coat and gloves that she had been handed before putting them on. She repeated the same phrase over and over in her head until her mind and heart believed it.

_It'll be alright, Kakashi's fine._

Without another thought, she pushed through the doors to the large emergency room. The first thing she saw was several shurikens embedded on someone's back.

_This was going to get messy…_

* * *

"Hang on Sakura! We're almost done. We've got 1 more to go!"

Sweat dripped from Sakura's brow as she desperately asked the patient to hang on. By the time all the patients were admitted into the hospital, there were 7 that were shinobi and the number of civilians stayed the same. Her team of 5, who had the most chakra control, had healed most of the shinobi while Shizune lead another team to heal the civilians. From what she had heard, most of the civilians were okay. Most just suffered from minor burns and a couple broken bones from when the ceiling collapsed. Their conditions were stable and not life threatening.

As much as she would like to think of that as good news and be happy, she couldn't. After pumping chakra into 6 ninjas with life threatening injuries, she began to feel light headed from the lack of energy. From the way the injuries were made, it would seem that they had been ambushed. That wasn't surprising as she knew that Kakashi would never let his team get hurt on purpose for the sake of making a mission successful.

A loud cough and a gurgling noise made Sakura jump. The patient coughed out some blood as Sakura started to reassure him. "Hold on! You'll be okay!" Her hands glowed as she focused more of her chakra to heal up the wound from where a Katana had punctured multiple times. Pink eyebrows furrowed in concentration and her eyes started to tear as her hands burned from the extended use of chakra. She stopped and sunk to her knees when the patient started to breathe more regularly and when his critical condition stabled.

She struggled to catch her breath as she propped herself against the wall to stand up again.

_Thank God…_

Her relief was short lived as another nurse from another room burst through the emergency room doors."Sakura-"

"What is it?"

"I need you for this last patient! He had just been found and had been admitted a while ago."

Sakura glanced around the room to see her team exhausted. 3 were completely drained of chakra and her last teammate had already been called into the other room to start on the patient. She was desperately trying to do her best to sustain the patient's life, but it was obvious that she could not hold on for too much longer when they came to get Sakura.

"Don't worry, I'll be right there!"

The pink-haired kunoichi had to make an obvious effort to focus her vision and to make it across the hall to the last patient. As her last teammate fell to the ground, worn out, Sakura gently rested her hand over the hole that had been made on the patient's abdomen. He winced and hissed in pain.

"Ayu, can you see if there is anyone around to help?"

"Hai!"

Her teammate rushed out of the room and Sakura searched her body for chakra that could be used. She gently looked down at the young, dark-haired ninja. He couldn't have been over 25 years old. "You're going to be alright…" She wiped her forehead with her blood streaked gloves and winced as her hands started to glow with chakra. She started to repair the tissues that had been torn from the edges first as well as the several ribs that had been broken. Sakura's head turned towards the door as she found Ayu sadly looking towards the ground while shaking her head. With tears filling up her brown eyes, Ayu gently informed Sakura that there was no one else that could help. Most people were drained and the people that were not did not have the capability to heal this patient.

"It's okay Ayu, I'll be okay." Sakura convinced herself that she would save this young shinobi. After partly closing up the wound on the abdomen, she asked some of the available nurses to bandage him up. When she started to see blood stains on the pillow, she knew that another wound had just opened up and was more serious than it looked. There was only one person in this hospital that could heal a serious head injury and that was her. With the amount of chakra she had now, there was no way that she could heal the injury and with the lack of energy, there was no way that she could have the precision to heal it properly without damaging other parts of the head.

It was too dangerous.

She had pushed herself to gather chakra in pockets that she didn't know existed to heal the tissue around the head wound. When her eyes met with innocent, bright blue ones, she suddenly felt as if she had been stabbed in the gut. Tears streamed down Sakura's cheeks as she started to realize that he couldn't be saved.

"No… No… NO! You have to live!"

Through her tears she saw him struggling to give her his best grin. Sakura tried to stream her chakra to precisely heal the spot that needed to be healed but her charred hands just wouldn't let her. Her chakra flow became erratic and she knew that she had to stop soon. She started shaking and her vision blurred. She pushed until her hands finally stopped glowing and hands held her arms back.

"Sakura, stop. You cannot drain all of your energy, you'll die this way."

Sakura didn't have the energy to face her shishou so she kept her head down and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Sa…kura…-sem…pai."

Sakura slowly opened her eyes and she choked back a sob. He knew her by name… he had called her by name… yet she didn't know his… and she couldn't save him. She started to shake and pant for air.

_I couldn't save him…_

"Than…k… you…"

The last image Sakura saw was a gentle smiling face with baby blue eyes rolling to the back of his head.

_"_Why… Why are you thanking me…? I couldn't save you…" Sakura whispered to herself as she sunk to the ground with her weakened knees and pounded her fists weakly against the tiled floor. She shook her head and sobbed uncontrollably.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she screamed. It was the last thing she remembered doing before losing consciousness.

* * *

It was night time before Sakura finally gained consciousness again. She kept her eyes closed as her head spun and pounded. Her felt heavy and her limbs felt detached from her body. Her hands burned and when she tried to move her fingers, she knew that someone had bandaged her hands. Her throat felt dry and every breath that she took felt like sand was scraping the side of her lungs.

Slowly opening her eyes, an eerie red glow from the emergency exit signs seeped into her vision. She took deep breaths as the memories from earlier rushed back into her head. A stream of warm liquid slid down the side of her eyes to her pillow as she inhaled and exhaled loudly in the silent hospital room. Time passed as she laid there, gathering her thoughts and emotions. Struggling, she sat up and took in her surroundings. It was a familiar one, she had been in here before healing patients, but never had she thought that she would be the one resting in one of these rooms. Swinging her legs to the side she made her way out the door to the hallway.

The halls were silent. Sakura guessed that it must have been late in the night where the situation had been calmed and the hours of visitation were over. Not wanting anyone to worry, her feet brought her to the nurse's station and she signed herself out before she walked out of the hospital.

The sky was illuminated by a bright moon and the air was cold. Small puffs of air can be seen while she breathed. It wasn't long before it started snowing.

_First snowfall of the year..._

Snow was supposed to be a beautiful thing. It hardly snowed in Konoha, so everytime it did, Sakura cherished it. It was supposed to be a signal that the sky sent to the earth that it was covering it up. The seasons were changing. Anything bad was to be forgotten and the snowed covered grounds were as clean as a fresh canvas – unpainted and untouched. Light and clear snowflakes drifted down on Sakura as she stood in the middle of the road looking lifelessly up at the sky. She held out her hand to touch them and she felt a tinge of frost on her fingers.

_If this was a fresh canvas, why must it be **me** who taints it?_

Now, this memory would be associated with snowfall. She had always considered herself to be the best at chakra control. It was something that she took pride in, especially when it was something that she excelled at compared to the rest of Team Seven. What use was chakra control when she didn't have enough of it to do anything good? She slowly started walking again after snow had gathered a bit on her head and shoulders. While leaving shallow tracks in the snow, her thoughts turned back to the events that had happened. She had lost patients before but none that personally knew her by name.

_None... that had clear blue eyes and dark hair..._

_None... that grinned at her amidst their pain..._

The familiarity of the features, that the young man had, frightened her.

She can't lose her best friends. She wouldn't know what to do if she had to lose her best friends again. Before she knew it, her feet had dragged her back to the place that she had been staying at for the last month. The remaining of the night went by in a blur. The only things she could recall were the memories in her head. Those blue eyes haunted her. They were so full of life, even up to the minute that life was gone.

Letting her back hit the wall of her familiar corner, she sank down while hugging her knees. She rested her head up against her knee as her eyes watched the window lifelessly. The dark was comforting, and she was glad that she was alone. It was something that she had to get over by herself. The silence made it easier for her to think. She went over the procedures of what she did wrong, learning from this experience. The winds picked up and howled loudly while shaking the windows. The tracks she made earlier would be erased and a new canvas would be created.

She would not make the same mistake twice.

* * *

TBC


End file.
